If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always be chasing people who don’t love you.
*loses a follower*
*checks fave mutuals*
yeah ok whatever later nerd
Anonymous said: What is the E11 trauma?
Watching someone burn to death.
After my entire camp left me, leaving me alone in the desert with a bunch of strangers. Thank god for the community type atmosphere, or I would have lost it, but it was still very traumatic.
Anonymous said: What is your ultimate fantasy?
I’ve decided to give up entirely.
In a good way.
I realized that one of the reasons I’ve been so miserable and out of sorts lately is that I’m terrified of being abandoned by people. Ever since the E11 trauma, and probably even before that, I’ve been needing them in a greater capacity than they’ve needed me.
I’m going to stop pursuing anything for a while. I want a little bit of time where I have no goals, I’m not looking for anyone to date, and I’m not looking for anyone to validate me. That being said, I’m not closing myself off, I’m just not going to chase anything or anyone. I’ll let them chase me for a little while.
I’m finding it’s very good to just stop for just a minute every now and then. I feel like I’m under control, but when I do this I sometimes realize that I’m not.
So I was thinking to myself ‘why is it so difficult to find a man that I’m attracted to, who is also attracted to me and wants to be with me?’ and then I had the sudden revelation that I’m completely batshit insane, and that’s probably why.